A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World
Updated on Sep. 01, 2024
If you've experienced a loss (or know someone who has), pick up one of these books on grief, which offer comfort and hope in the midst of pain
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Grief is extremely difficult to process, but each of us will experience it at some point in our lives. When we do, we’ll face questions we may not be able to answer on our own: How do you move forward after your life changes in the blink of an eye? Is it possible to fully heal after loss? How can the Earth continue to spin when your world has come to a complete stop? Reading inspirational books can offer solace during tough times, but books on grief, specifically, take a more targeted approach and may pave the way to healing.
Sometimes those who are grieving just need to be able to lean on the words of others who have experienced a loss themselves to reassure themselves they’re not alone. Other times, they want some professional insight into the process and how to work through their pain. And as with all genres, the best books are those that readers can relate to.
Still, it can be intimidating to find the right book to fit your specific situation. To help, we turned to six therapists and mental health professionals who deal with the heavy topic for a living. Read on to find out what grief books they recommend for those coping with loss and seeking hope and healing on the other side.
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Best for: Those who want to feel understood
Whether you’ve personally experienced a loss or need help with the right things to say to someone who’s grieving, you’ll find it easy to relate to It’s OK That You’re Not OK. In this 2017 title, therapist Megan Devine uses an empathetic approach to address the myths of grief—including the idea that it’s something you can quickly get over—and offer practical tools for healing.
“It’s OK That You’re Not OK is an invaluable resource for individuals navigating the intricate and often isolating journey of grief,” says Edmonia Doe, an Atlanta-based licensed professional counselor. “I highly recommend it as a source of comfort, understanding and guidance for readers seeking solace in a culture that may not fully comprehend the profound depth of their grief.”
Best for: Readers coping with a sudden loss
More often than not, grief is unexpected. I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye offers words, tools and support that will help you cope with the heartbreak of a sudden loss. Published in 2008, the book—and the authors’ words of solace—still holds weight. It’ll help you not only get through your shock but also manage the long-term mental and emotional effects that are common with any grieving process. There are self-exploration questions, activities and journaling prompts that will help you dig deep to get the healing you deserve.
“[This] is a highly recommended resource for individuals grieving the sudden loss of a loved one,” says Doe. “This book provides practical guidance, a compassionate tone and personal stories that make it an invaluable tool for those seeking comfort, guidance and a deeper understanding of their grief.”
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Best for: Fiction readers who’ve lost a parent
Published in 2023, Mike Gayle’s The Museum of Ordinary People is a feel-good novel that explores the symbolic and emotional attachments to items left behind by the people we love. As the story begins, Jess has finally gathered the strength to sell her childhood home after the passing of her mother, but she’s taken aback when she discovers an old set of encyclopedias her mom gifted to her. These now-worthless tomes are a symbol of a mother’s hopes and dreams for her daughter, and knowing that makes letting go even harder. Grappling with what to do, Jess discovers a mysterious museum that cares for keepsakes, treasured belongings and heartfelt stories of loved ones, spanning generations and continents.
This book is a personal recommendation. As someone who has experienced losing a parent, I found Jess’s grieving process relatable, and the story made hope feel much more attainable. Through lovable characters and compassionate storytelling, Gayle offers an insightful look at grief, returning to our dreams and the overbearing challenge of letting go.
Best for: Readers seeking to cultivate purpose in life after loss
This guide to navigating life’s tougher moments can help you reclaim your life after a seriously painful setback, including grief. First published in 2012, The Reality Slap offers readers a chance to restart life after loss, offering comprehensive advice and tools to get you through any “reality slap” life throws at you.
“I often recommend The Reality Slap to clients going through bereavement because of the book’s compassionate and practical approach to guiding them through their grieving progress,” says Juulia Karlstedt, a therapist in Edinburgh, Scotland. “At its core, The Reality Slap is a book about finding acceptance and growing resilience in the moments when life truly knocks us down. Russ Harris does a beautiful job normalizing and validating painful human experiences while providing practical mindfulness-based techniques to help you explore what a meaningful and value-led life following your loss looks like for you.”
Best for: Those who want to know they’re not alone
If you’re hunting for books on bereavement by people who’ve been there, pick up a copy of The Grief Collective. It features a ton of advice and heartfelt words from real-life grief experts—everyday people who have gone through it. In this 2020 collection of 54 stories, you’ll gain practical insight into the grieving process, learn how others made it through their grief and find out which resources and practices helped them along the way.
“The narratives include cancer, dementia, stroke, suicide, loss of relationship, miscarriage, accidental death, COVID-19, pet loss and many more experiences,” says Tara Quinn-Cirillo, a psychologist in Sussex, England, and host of The Adversity Psychologist podcast. “The book also provides professional insight into ways to cope with grief and manage more complex issues, such as where there may have been a difficult relationship with the person when they were alive. It also covers how to support others and begin conversations around grief.”
Best for: Anyone seeking a grief support group in a book
Whether your grief stems from the death of a loved one, a breakup or some other significant loss, Good Mourning offers solace, support and a sense of community. Published in 2023, the book was written by Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn, who co-host a wildly popular podcast of the same name. Drawing on their personal experiences and those of others, Douglas and Carn offer a compassionate and candid exploration of loss in all its forms. This book stands out for its heartfelt stories, practical advice and the sense of community it fosters, helping you feel less alone in your mourning.
Styled as a “compassionate survival guide,” the book includes expert advice from clinical psychologist Tamara Cavenett as well as tips and tools on coping with changes, navigating the startlingly stark loneliness of grief and much more. It’s a book full of “real talk” to help you feel a little more connected and equipped to mourn well.
Best for: Anyone grieving an unresolved loss
Plenty of books on grief offer advice for mourning someone who has passed away, but there’s a different kind of grief that can hurt just as much: grieving someone who’s still living. When we lose someone to divorce, addiction, mental illness or some other nonfatal severing, grieving that loss requires a different approach. Ambiguous Loss, released in 1999, can help you grapple with the sadness and lack of closure that come from that sort of unresolved loss.
“Ambiguous Loss is more than 20 years old but still full of relevant guidance,” says Dale Larson, PhD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Santa Clara University in California. “It’s a unique book because it delves into types of loss and grief that are often not considered in standard self-help books.”
Best for: Those grieving the loss of a spouse
Losing your life partner is a heartbreaking experience that’s difficult to translate into words. Not only are you forced to proceed with life—without your other half to lean on—but you’re also faced with a brokenness that feels too painful to endure. Kristin Meekhof experienced firsthand the difficulty of losing a spouse and the crucial decisions left to make in the wake of such tragedy, and it’s that firsthand experience that informs A Widow’s Guide to Healing.
This reassuring guide, published in 2015, details how to heal and navigate during your first five years as a widow. Part comfort, part practical advice, the book touches on both personal healing and how to handle the hurdles of becoming a single parent, taking on financial responsibilities, navigating your career and heaps of other situations that can be intimidating to approach.
“A Widow’s Guide to Healing is a wonderful resource in a difficult time because it goes so far beyond addressing just how one may be feeling,” says Larson. “It is a really much-needed blueprint for grieving widows who are dealing with so many different kinds of challenges. It discusses everything from their financial estate to how to now be a single parent to dealing with difficult in-laws. I recommend it highly to anyone who might be in this situation.”
Best for: Anyone experiencing a loss during other troubling circumstances
Celebrated writer Joan Didion’s raw and touching account of losing her husband—and witnessing his death—while their daughter was fighting a life-threatening illness is a thought-provoking book that will resonate with anyone, whether they’re grieving or not. The year following her husband’s death, her daughter’s recovery and her own health issues was filled with startling memories, questions of reality and the author’s attempt to research and understand her grief. Originally published in 2005, The Year of Magical Thinking is a close examination of romantic love and what it means to grapple with the darkness that appears after that love is lost.
“It’s a classic book that explains how one woman dealt with the loss of her husband at the same time her daughter was in a coma,” says Amy Morin, LCSW, a psychotherapist and host of the Mentally Stronger podcast. “She describes how her brain used to play tricks on her and she couldn’t quite grasp the permanency of her loss. It can help anyone who thinks they may be losing touch with reality a bit as they grieve a loss, and [it will help them] discover that our brains’ responses are often quite normal given the situation.”
Best for: Those curious about the effects of grief on the body and brain
Sometimes we simply need to step outside the emotional impact of grief and wrap our brains around what’s happening to our brain and body in the grieving process. The Grieving Brain does just that. Published in 2022 by neuroscientist and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, it is a cutting-edge treatise that provides us a chance to understand what we are physiologically experiencing during grief. After all, we know the neurons in our brains help us form connections to other people, so it stands to reason that they are also in play when we lose those connections. O’Conner demystifies the complex ways our minds—and bodies, in turn—respond to grief in this powerful exploration that is at once intensely scientific and deeply compassionate.
Best for: Readers battling grief who find baking therapeutic
When Chase Cassine lost his mother, his grief took him to the kitchen. The result is 2021’s The Sweetest Therapy, a spin on the traditional memoir that uses baking to help readers through the grieving process. In this hybrid cookbook, Cassine, a licensed clinical social worker, shares his experience with grief and offers healthy coping mechanisms—along with recipes that provide comforting sweetness to counter the bitter moments of mourning a loss.
Cassine says his goal with the book is to “positively impact others enduring sorrow, spread awareness about the process of mental and emotional recovery that accompanies substantial grief, discourage the use of negative coping methods to deal with pain and encourage people to find their sweet spot by exploring healthy ways to face the trials of life.”
Best for: Children trying to make sense of grief
This illustrated children’s book, published in 2000, is perfect for adults who need help comforting a grieving child. It’s a short, sweet story centered on Sherman Smith, a young raccoon who witnessed something terrible that has lingering effects on his life. He is anxious, plagued by nightmares and experiencing a downward spiral in his behavior. His teacher notices and offers kind words and guidance to help Sherman learn to talk about his feelings and heal from his grief.
“This book is a great tool to discuss grief and loss with children,” says Kiva Harper, a trauma-focused therapist in Arlington, Texas. “It helps to begin a dialogue and allows caregivers the ability to supplement with age-appropriate conversations.”
Best for: Anyone who finds hope in poetry
Grief-specific poetry uses rhyme schemes and metaphors that touch the soul where it needs it the most. This 2022 collection of poetry and prose by poet Brianna Pastor will tug at your emotions while making you feel seen. Penned over a period of 10 years, Good Grief uses poetry to touch on themes of trauma, loss, self-worth and growth. Pastor’s moving words encourage readers to experience and appreciate the beauty of life even in a painful season of loss.
Best for: Those who need strength to get through the unsettling parts of grief
Bestselling fiction author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (who penned the critically acclaimed 2013 novel Americanah) recounts the loss of her father in this 2021 memoir. Although it’s beautifully told—you’ll think you’re reading the author’s personal journal—Adichie notes how ugly grief can get and the anger it can provoke. Her pain pulses through her prose, but there’s also a sense of unfaltering love as she honors her father by discussing his upbringing, his career as a professor and his last moments during the COVID-19 pandemic. Notes on Grief is an expansion of her original heartfelt piece, which ran in the New Yorker.
Best for: Those in the later stages of grief
David Kessler, co-author with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD, of the classic 2005 book On Grief and Grieving, has built a long career out of writing and teaching about grief. But it was the devastating loss of his 21-year-old son from a drug overdose that made him want to look beyond the established five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) and resulted in this 2019 follow-up, Finding Meaning. In it, he shares insights into how to avoid getting stuck in grief, becoming bitter or remaining angry, as well as how to begin eventually emerging from the haze of loss.
“For most of us, grief will lessen in intensity over time; it will never end,” writes Kessler. “But if we allow ourselves to move fully into this crucial and profound sixth stage, meaning, it will allow us to transform grief into something else, something rich and fulfilling. Through meaning, we can find more than pain.”
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About the experts
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At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite books for over 100 years. We’ve worked with bestselling authors including Susan Orlean, Janet Evanovich and Alex Haley, whose Pulitzer Prize–winning Roots grew out of a project funded by and originally published in the magazine. Through Fiction Favorites (formerly Select Editions and Condensed Books), Reader’s Digest has been publishing anthologies of abridged novels for decades. We’ve worked with some of the biggest names in fiction, including James Patterson, Ruth Ware, Kristin Hannah and more. The Reader’s Digest Book Club, helmed by Books Editor Tracey Neithercott, introduces readers to even more of today’s best fiction by upcoming, bestselling and award-winning authors. For this piece about books on grief, writer and poet Jatelia Lewis tapped her extensive experience as a journalist specializing in books, as well as her personal experience with grief, to ensure that all information is accurate and offers the best possible advice to readers. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
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