Why Do Dogs Like to Be Petted?

It’s so easy to lavish affection on our precious pups. We can’t resist kissing their cute faces, giving them belly rubs and scratching behind their ears. And they like it too—if we pause for just a second, they paw our hand in protest. It makes you wonder: Why do dogs like to be petted?

To get to the bottom of it, we chatted with experts in pet behavior. Heads up: The answer is even more fascinating than you might think. Read on to learn why dogs like to be petted and how to properly pet your pup.

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Why do dogs like to be petted?

In our hearts, we know the answer to “Why do dogs like to be petted?” It feels good! Scientific research supports this: Studies show that when we interact positively with our pup—say, by cuddling or petting—we get a boost of oxytocin, the warm-and-fuzzy hormone. And so does our dog. The whole process helps us bond and creates feelings of warmth and affection between us.

But there’s another compelling reason dogs love petting, and it has to do with the concept of social grooming. “Dogs are social animals, and the behavior that we call allogrooming [when animals of the same species groom one another] is quite common in social animals,” says Valarie Tynes, DVM, a veterinary behaviorist at the SPCA of Texas. Just think of the mutually beneficial grooming you see among monkeys at the zoo.

This behavior is deeply rooted in canine evolution. We can see it in wild dog packs today: Members groom one another as a way of bonding and maintaining social hierarchy. When we pet our domesticated companions, we’re tapping into this ancient instinct and, in a way, speaking their language. 

Grooming between humans and dogs, however, tends to be a one-way street. We groom our dogs, of course, but they don’t groom humans much—except when they lick us. When they do that, it’s basically the equivalent of them grooming us, says Dr. Tynes. “It’s very likely that this social grooming behavior evolved along with canine domestication,” she says.

What are the benefits of petting dogs?

Petting your pup offers more than just a moment of bonding. It provides tangible benefits for both you and your pet.

For humans:

• Stress reduction: Petting your dog can reduce your level of cortisol, the stress hormone, the National Institutes of Health’s News in Health points out. That little bonding session can lower your stress levels and your blood pressure.

• Less lonliness: ​Studies have shown that spending time with pets makes people less lonely. Bonding with your dog will enhance your overall mood—it’s like having extra social support.    

For dogs:

• Emotional security: Dogs love regular and positive physical contact. Petting reinforces their place in your ‘pack.’ It also creates essential and emotional security between you and your dog.

• Anxiety reduction: Aside from making your pup feel good, petting can have a calming effect on stressed-out or anxious dogs (thanks, oxytocin). The soothing, rhythmic motion of your hand against their fur creates a sense of security and comfort that can significantly lower their heart rate and reduce stress hormones. Give your four-legged friend a generous petting when stressful times arise, like before you leave the house or go to the vet.

• Socialization: Petting helps dogs get comfortable with other people, so even pets from strangers can benefit your pup. Bonus: A socialized dog will be easier to handle.

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Where are the best spots to pet a dog?

The best spots really depend on the dog. Dogs are individuals and have personal preferences when it comes to the places where they want you to pet them. “My last few dogs liked to be petted on their rump, right above their tail head,” says Dr. Tynes. “My current dog prefers her chin and neck to be rubbed/scratched.”

Typically, the sweet spots are those that they can’t reach on their own or areas where they won’t feel vulnerable. “One of the most important things to keep in mind when petting dogs is to let the dog tell you what it likes by paying attention to its behavior.” 

Try under the chin or on the rump, shoulders or chest. These spots also feel safer compared with more vulnerable areas, like the face or paws. The key? Let your dog guide you. Pay attention to their body language. If they lean in, stay relaxed or wag their tail, you’re on the right track. If they pull away or look uneasy, it’s time to switch things up.

What about the coveted belly rub? The belly is a vulnerable area, so a dog exposing it to you demonstrates profound trust in your relationship. This gesture represents one of the deepest forms of canine affection.

Where shouldn’t you pet a dog?

“In general, it’s a good idea to avoid petting/grabbing a dog’s tail, feet, legs, head and ears,” says Rachel Salant, an animal behavior specialist with TotalVet. 

So why do dogs like to be petted in some areas but not others? Like humans, dogs are protective of their more sensitive body parts. On top of that, if your dog has had a bad experience during a nail trimming or ear cleaning in the past, they may not want you near those spots again. It’s not personal—they’re just guarding themselves.

One common mistake? Going straight for the head. Surprisingly, even though we’re naturally drawn to petting a dog’s head, it is actually one of the things your dog wishes you’d stop doing. Dogs inherently dislike it and feel threatened or stressed when a hand or something else hovers over their head. From a dog’s perspective, a hand coming from above resembles a potential threat—in nature, predators attack from above. This instinctual wariness is hardwired into their behavior, even with trusted humans.

Think about it this way, says Dr. Salant: If you’re petting a dog and it retreats, it’s saying “No, thank you.” If it comes back for more, it’s telling you “I like that.” This clear communication through body language is how dogs establish boundaries for physical interaction. It is a crucial aspect of respecting your pet and building mutual trust.

Things to consider before petting a dog

When you’re walking down the street and see a super-cute pup, it’s hard to resist the urge to stop and pet it. But check out its body language first. “Even if the pet parent says the dog is friendly and loves to be pet, it’s a good idea to follow these tips to make sure they feel that way about you,” says Dr. Salant.

Here are a few quick checks to make before you go in for a pat:

• Look at the tail: A dog’s tail broadcasts a host of emotions. A relaxed tail wagging loosely—especially to the right—usually means the dog is feeling friendly. A tail tucked between the legs? That’s a no-go.

• Check out the ears: Floppy ears can be tricky to read. But if a dog has pointy ears pinned back tight, it might be scared or uncomfortable.

• Let the dog sniff you first: Dogs learn about people through scent. Sniffing doesn’t always mean they want you to pet them—it just means they’re curious.

• Notice how close they get: If the dog moves toward you in a relaxed way, that’s a good sign. If it backs off, it’s better to give space.

• Give its collar a glance: A red dog collar could be a fashion choice, but some parents choose it to let others know their dog is aggressive and needs some space. If it is wearing a red collar, look for the signs above and ask the pet parent before approaching the dog.

How to pet a dog

Just because dogs are known for being affectionate (and have been bred over thousands of years to bond with us) doesn’t mean every dog wants a pat from a stranger, says Dr. Salant. Even affectionate dog breeds might not want to be petted by you. 

For dogs that do like to be touched, follow the tips above and the steps below to pet a dog correctly.

• Skip the staring: Don’t make direct eye contact until you’ve confirmed the dog is interested in interacting with you.

• Don’t loom: Avoid bending over at the waist and reaching over the dog’s head.

• Start with a shoulder scratch: Offer your hand and approach from the side, not straight at its face. Reach for the dog’s shoulder so the dog can clearly see where your hand is going. Scratch for two to three seconds. If the dog doesn’t move away, try slowly raising your hand to the dog’s ears and scratching those for a few seconds, then stop.

• Pause and see what happens: Dogs that pull away are politely telling you, “No petting now, please.” Those that lean in and nudge you are telling you what they want: more petting.

FAQs

Does petting help dogs relax?

Yes, petting dogs leads to an increase in the feel-good hormone oxytocin and, as a result, a feeling of calm. (You reap the same benefit, by the way.) 

Is there a difference between petting and massaging a dog?

Yes, there are differences. Casual petting means gentle stroking or scratching. It is mainly for bonding.

A massage, on the other hand, will relieve muscle tension, improve circulation and address specific physical issues. Unlike petting, there’s a technique involved. Both are beneficial, but a massage may require specific training to be most effective.

Why do dogs crave petting?

In a way, dogs love being pet because they’ve been trained to. With a pet to the back, you tell your dog’s brain to release hormones that provide a warm, lovey-dovey feeling. This great experience creates a positive-association loop: Your dog knows that petting feels good and therefore wants more. Over time, this builds a stronger emotional connection between the two of you.

Why trust us

At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. For this piece on why dogs like to be pet, Lisa Marie Conklin tapped her experience as a reporter who has covered dogs and pets for seven years to ensure that all information is accurate and offers the best possible advice to readers. For this piece, we relied on reputable primary sources and experts. We verified all facts and data and backed them with credible sourcing, and we will revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Sources:

• Valarie V. Tynes, DVM, veterinary behaviorist at the SPCA of Texas
• Rachel Salant, an animal behavior specialist with TotalVet
• Animals: “The Role of Oxytocin in the Dog-Owner Relationship”
• Current Biology: “Asymmetric tail-wagging responses by dogs to different emotive stimuli”
• Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology: “Pet ownership, loneliness, and social isolation: a systematic review”
• Health Sciences Review: “A scoping review of research on human-canine interactions to reduce loneliness and promote socializing behaviors in early and middle adulthood”
• American Kennel Club: “Does Your Dog Need a Massage? Benefits of the Canine Massage”
• AERA Open: “Animal Visitation Program (AVP) Reduces Cortisol Levels of University Students: A Randomized Controlled Trial”
• ​NIH News in Health: “The Power of Pets”
• ​Johns Hopkins Medicine: “The Friend Who Keeps You Young”

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