A few funny work quotes a day can keep the workday blues away
35 Funny Work Quotes to Get You Through the Day
Updated on Nov. 21, 2024
It’s Monday morning, and the incessant trill of your alarm has woken you from a pretty great dream. What’s motivating you to get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button for the seventh time? Probably not a burning desire to go to work. Even if you love your job, it can be difficult to face another daunting workweek. But don’t worry—we have just the thing for a case of the Mondays: funny work quotes. Because, really, nothing’s better than a big belly laugh to start your week off right. So sit back, relax and get ready for some funny motivational quotes for work.
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Funny quotes about work
Funny work quotes can be the antidote to even the strongest workday blues. Here are some to lift your spirits on even the dullest of days.
1. “I used up all my sick leave, so I called in dead.” —Anonymous
2. “The difference between ‘try’ and ‘triumph’ is just a little umph!” —Marvin Phillips
3. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” —Douglas Adams
4. “Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.” —Pablo Picasso
5. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” —Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
6. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” —Bertrand Russell
7. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” —George Carlin
8. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edgar Bergen
9. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.” —African proverb
10. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” —Oscar Wilde
11. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” —Don Marquis
Funny boss quotes
Love them or hate them (or most likely, a little bit of both), there’s no doubt that your boss can strongly influence your workday mood. But if they’re not providing you with enough motivation, here are some funny inspirational quotes for work.
12. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” —John Gotti
13. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” —Niels Bohr
14. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” —Anonymous
15. “There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.” —Peter Drucker
16. “Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” —Doug Larson
17. “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work 12 hours a day.” —Robert Frost
18. “If at first you don’t succeed, try management.” —Anonymous
19. “Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.” —Anonymous
20. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” —Groucho Marx
21. “Leave enough time unscheduled; anyone in a decision-making position should, as a rule, schedule no more than half his time.” —Peter Drucker
22. “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” —Andy Stanley
23. “Show me a man who is a good loser, and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.” —Jim Murray
Funny co-worker quotes
Co-workers: They’re some of the best people when it comes to commiserating about your boss and spitballing some funny one-liners. But sometimes they just get on your nerves. Instead of taking it out on them, turn to these funny work quotes to keep things light.
24. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” —Phyllis Diller
25. “I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.” —Franklin D. Roosevelt
26. “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” —Bill Gates
27. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend than be one.” —Clarence Darrow
28. “Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes I mean all times. All the time. Every of the time!” —Kevin Malone, The Office
29. “Co-workers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” —Anonymous
Funny dream job quotes
We all have hopes and aspirations, though some people’s goals are more active than others. Whether your dream job entails selling, consulting or sleeping till noon, these funny work quotes are sure to resonate.
30. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” —David Letterman
31. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” —Groucho Marx
32. “Don’t stay in bed unless you can make money in bed.” —George Burns
33. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” —Lily Tomlin
34. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.” —Zig Ziglar
35. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” —Ted Turner
Next, read on for funny inspirational quotes that will motivate you—and make you laugh!
Why trust us
At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite quotes for over 100 years. The sayings and quips that appear in the magazine’s “Quotable Quotes” (formerly “Remarkable Remarks”) are curated from interviews and essays originally published in the magazine, reprints from trusted titles and other verified sources. For this piece on funny work quotes, Lucie Turkel tapped her experience as a lifestyle editor for Reader’s Digest to ensure that all information is accurate. We’ve gone the extra step and had Stephanie L. Abramson, who has served as a research editor at the New York Times, Real Simple, Women’s Health, Time and more, verify that all quotes are attributed correctly and have credible sourcing. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
