Because good laughs and good coffee go hand-in-hand with these funny coffee sayings
29 Funny Coffee Quotes That Keep the Laughs Brewing
Updated on Dec. 12, 2024
Ah, coffee—what would we do without it? It’s a savior in the morning, giving us the energy to take on the day ahead. People love coffee so much that there’s a plethora of coffee puns, funny coffee sayings and witty quotes about coffee that perfectly capture its significance in our lives. Now go brew a pot, sit at the table and enjoy these funny coffee quotes with your cup of joe.
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Funny coffee quotes that speak to your soul
1. “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” —Earl Wilson
2. “Life’s too short for bad coffee.” —Gord Downie
3. “No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.” —Henry Ward Beecher
4. “Coffee is my water now.” —Becky G
5. “What on Earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book and a cup of coffee?” —Anthony Trollope
6. “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” —Distinguished Citizen of North Carolina
7. “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?” —Jean Kerr
8. “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” —Edward Abbey
9. “Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.” —Thomas Jefferson
10. “Coffee first. Schemes later.” —Leanna Renee Hieber
11. “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” —Alphonse Allais
12. “I think if I were a woman, I’d wear coffee as a perfume.” —John Van Druten
Witty quotes about coffee
13. “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” —Louisa May Alcott
14. “I had some dreams; they were clouds in my coffee.” —Carly Simon
15. “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” —
16. “I hereby arm myself for today with coffee and the willingness to be wrong.” —Audrey Assad
17. “I can’t imagine a day without coffee. I can’t imagine!” —Howard Schultz
Funny coffee sayings
18. “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” —T.S. Eliot
19. “I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless.” —Napoleon Bonaparte
20. “What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.” —Henry Rollins
21. “Coffee time is anytime.” —Charlie McReynolds
22. “I get a couple cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.” —Gary Larson
23. “If I couldn’t, three times a day, be allowed to drink my little cup of coffee, in my anguish I will turn into a shriveled-up roast goat.”—Johann Sebastian Bach
24. “No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for Before Coffee.” —
25. “Coffee and chocolate—the inventor of mocha should be sainted.” —
26. “Just coffee. Black—like my soul.” —
27. “I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.” —Megan Mullally
28. “Coffee in England is just toasted milk.” —Christopher Fry
29. “Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.” —Justina Chen
Why trust us
At Reader’s Digest, we’ve been sharing our favorite quotes for over 100 years. The sayings and quips that appear in the magazine’s “Quotable Quotes” (formerly “Remarkable Remarks”) are curated from interviews and essays originally published in the magazine, reprints from trusted titles and other verified sources. For this piece on hope quotes, Kelly Kuehn tapped her experience as a lifestyle editor for Reader’s Digest to ensure that all information is accurate. We’ve gone the extra step and had Stephanie L. Abramson, who has served as a research editor at the New York Times, Real Simple, Women’s Health, Time and more, verify that all quotes are attributed correctly and have credible sourcing. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
